So keeping it real as I promise I would.. Lately, I’ve found myself in a massive rut constantly feeling down in myself. I feel as if I’ve lost my spark.
From the outside, I’m sure to some it might look like I really have my life together. If I were to look at myself from a distant, I’d probably think the same. And don’t get me wrong, I am passionate about everything that I do, from achieving my fitness goals, to determining, I am constantly living a healthy lifestyle. From making sure I excel at my professional job, and continue to expand my knowledge by furthering my studies and along with this, sharing all through my online social media accounts.
I love to help people and see them succeed. I love spreading positivity, energy and vibes hoping to motivate. I love to lighten peoples moods, be the joker when they may be feeling down. I am forever striving to be a kind and giving person. A people’s pleaser. In a nutshell, I have come to see myself as someone who can be there for anyone, anytime, with whatever is needed. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
But recently, I’ve been left feeling overwhelmed in myself. I think there comes a point, when you give give give all the time and are so busy on achieving your goals and striving for more alongside giving up your time to help others, that you begin to forget about looking after number 1, yourself. And that’s when the anxiety for me I think kicked in.
Sound familiar? You’re not alone.
So I decided to sit down recently, and try pinpoint why I was feeling like this. All these feelings I’ve come to recognize are symptoms of putting more on my plate than is really good for me.
I always try to live in a mood of gratitude and happiness. But as a result, I am forever guilty of neglecting myself and over-giving, and I know that sometimes it’s just best to give yourself a healthy dose of responsible self-care. We need to put a temporary pause in place on anything that isn’t absolutely necessary at that time. Take some things off the incomplete list if that is possible or Get support or assistance with handling them when it’s not, and renegotiating agreements that are stressing is out.
So, I made myself a list of fix’s or suggestions I’ve promised I’ll follow.
I am sharing these with you in an effort to help someone else that might either now or in the future find themselves feeling the same.
1. Detach – I am going to try make a conscious effort to switch off every evening at least an hour before I plan to go to sleep.
2. Read – I am going to aim to read before I go to sleep, whether it be a self-help book or fiction/novel. This might help me sleep a little better, because unfortunately, something that comes with anxiousness is lack of sleep.
3. Attend Yoga weekly – I actually already began this routine with my friend Jess at the start of January. Going to Yoga weekly allows us both to unwind while helping me also to detach and really focus on being present in the moment. The yoga class we attend is an hour long, with 15 minutes of mindfulness after where I’ve really found myself being present in just that moment.
4. Own up and open up – Hiding these feelings of anxiousness from everyone around me and taking on too much, keeping up appearances has been how I’ve previously tried to cope. I always make my best effort to be there for those closest to me, and make sure they know that I am here for them when needed. It’s completely normal for us all to struggle and feel overwhelmed with life from time to time. Maybe I don’t own up to the feelings because I don’t want them to be real and that they will magically disappear. I need to make a conscious effort to reach out when the situations are reversed, and it’s me that needs someone to talk to. This I know will be my biggest challenge.
5. Start the day with a positive affirmation – Maybe I’ll talk to myself in the mirror, with statements like, “Today will be a good day” or “I’m going to be awesome today.” I may feel silly doing so, but it’s proven to help.
6. Focus on the good – However bad a situation may seem, I am going to try be more conscious of seeing the positive side.
7. And if that doesn’t work, maybe I’ll try and find the funny side of a bad situation, might make for a good story down the line.
8. Positivity – I need to learn to be more positive about myself and my own efforts. I am going to start and write down every little achievement however big/small in a little book so that I can be reminded of my achievements and accomplishments. I am the queen of constantly putting myself down, telling myself I could be doing more, doing better etc. I am going to make a more conscious effort of patting myself on the back, consciously treating myself when I achieve even the smallest of goals.
9. Live in the present – What I mean by that, is focus on the NOW. Not today, not the hour, but at the exact moment. Most sources of negativity stem from a memory of a recent event or the exaggerated imagination of a potential future event. I need to learn to live in the present moment. What’s to be will be, you can’t change the past, or predict the future. So why let my feelings lead me to feeling down about both.
All the above are mostly easier said than done though aren’t they? Entrenched habits don’t die quickly or easily, but with practice and clear intentionality, they can weaken and diminish over time. I’ve read that they show up with less and less frequency, and they are neutralized more quickly and effectively.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be completely free of these feelings when I overload myself. Knowing what I need to do to minimize them though and putting practices in place that will prevent them from taking my generally positive attitude hostage is for now my number one goal, and is one I am really going to try and work on. And who knows, maybe I’ll get lucky and find that I can get a permanent victim-ectomy. I’m not too hopeful about that one. But who knows? Anything’s possible I suppose!